Day two of international coaching week – the new normal

Yesterday I asked you to think about the “new normal” and a new normal for you.

For many, a new normal might be to continue their new found love of cycling, for others it might be more regular walks. According to Garmin, outdoor running has increased by over 50% and cycling by up to 153%!

But less active activities have also increased. DIY is planned to be carried out by 74% of households during lockdown. Just showing how much we put off until we “have the time”

So what have you changed during the lockdown? What have you not changed but will as soon as it is lifted? How are you going to spend your time after it? How could I help you?

Please comment below and pass this on to others.

How Stop Boiling Your Frog can help you

International Coaching Week

It’s the 15th International Coaching Week (May 5th – 10th). So, with lock down about to start to be eased what better time to start thinking about your new life.

Do you really want to go back to “normal”? What was “normal” anyway? Where you happy with “normal”?

It’s time to start thinking about being a “new” normal.

Peppa Pigs Big Sister

Last night I was in Leeds to see a Freya Ridings Concert, she’s not my usual choice but my wife is a fan.

Following the warm up act I overheard a rather one sided converstaion between the group of people next to me. It went something like this:

“I can always tell when somebody is going to be S#!T. I can just tell. I manage 37 people in a nursing home and if anybody doesn’t measure up I get rid of them.”

“I can just tell”

“What I do is manage them out, I make it so difficut for them that they make a mistake and then I get rid of them”

“I can just tell”

So, my question is this, how can she “just tell”?

No mention of support, discussions, coaching, target setting, training, motivation, home life. Or any other mechanism that a good manger would consider useing, because, she could “just tell”.

In these situations what is happening is we are surrounding ourselves with people who are like us. People who we believe reflect ourselves. It’s a combination of cognitive ease, confirmation bias and the endowment effect. If you would like to know more about these let me know.

In the meantime consider this, would you want to work for this person? Indeed, would your employees like to work for this person? Are you this person? How do you know?

And Peppa Pigs big sister, I’ll let you work that out. Comment below what you think the relationship is.

Did you get enough sleep last night?

I’ve been reading why we sleep by Matthew Walker and it’s really changed the way I think about sleep and my bedtime. I’ve always thought of myself as a night owl, staying up watching TV or reading late into the night, however I’ve come to realise, after reading this book, that really all I’ve been doing is shortening my life.

I now realise that a full 8 hours sleep is more important than going to the gym, going for a bike ride or eating healthily. Missing out on sleep as a greater effect on our bodies than previously thought, for instance, if we go to bed late we can’t make up for that the night after, no matter how early we go to bed, that damage to your body at a cellular level is irreversible.

Eight hours sleep is needed because the brain needs to go through cycles of REM and non-REM sleep and for that to happen takes a full 8 hours. That’s why as we get older and have to get up to go to the loo in the middle of the night we still feel tired in the morning.

Another surprising fact is that while we sleep our brains actually shrink over slightly, this allows cerebrospinal fluid to enter the brain and wash away damaging proteins that have built up in the cells, these proteins, unchecked, can help to cause Alzheimer’s.

If anything in your life is keeping you awake and you would like help to change that, then please get in touch.

I’d like to write some more, but I’m feeling tired, so off to bed for me. Good night and sweet dreams!

Back to school!

Tomorrow many children go back to school. It also marks the day when most parents give a sigh of relief! If that’s you, then ask yourself how much time have you had to think about yourself?

The summer is often a time to reflect on our lives, especially if we’ve had the opportunity to lay on a beach and ponder! So what did you decide? Did you achieved what you set out to do last year? Have you achieved any of your new year’s resolutions?

Regardless, let’s set three new habits, starting now:

  1. Be more positive – a positive outlook can add years to your life and makes you more appealing to others
  2. Put you first – all to often we put others thoughts and feelings before ourselves, at time that’s to be expected. But placing yourself in that position too often is draining, both physically and mentally. How are you going to help others if you are on your knees?
  3. Get out more – changing our environment can bring benefits to both mind and body. And being with others can make us appreciate what we have.

Of course you may choose to follow other new habits, but these three are good place to start. Let me know how you get on.

Reached that goal yet?

We’re approaching half way through 2019. So let’s review how well you’ve done towards your new year resolutions. Did you:

  • Lose that weight
  • Get that new job or promotion
  • Improve your fitness

If you did, then really well done! No, I mean it! If you didn’t then let’s explore the reasons why you might not have.

The main cause of us not reaching our goals has been called “false hope syndrome”. This is the result of us having unrealistic expectations of outcomes. It seems that us humans aren’t very good at estimating how successful we will be at almost any project.

Even if we have pursued a similar project in the past we still lie to ourselves about how successful we’ll be, “it’ll be different this time”. How often have you said that to yourself?

One way to improve your chances of success is to become accountable to someone. If you only have yourself to say “eh hum, well I tried” to then there is no value in either the success or the failure, there is no consequence.

This is where a coach comes in. A coach will help you to identify what it is that you really want to achieve. They will help you to set objectives by which you can measure your progress and celebrate success. But above all else they will hold you accountable.

7 tips for speaking in public

We’ve all had situations were we have had to speak to a new person or, indeed, to a room full of new people! For some this can be crippling. But with these 7 tips you can master the fear of speaking with others.

Know your topic: This speaks for itself. Knowing your topic can mean that you come to the conversation with a sense of authority. You don’t need to show off, but have confidence. On the other hand you may not know anything about the topic, this is your chance to learn something new and takes the focus of you; some people love talking about their interest. Show interest.

Keep it slow: Speaking too quickly can really upset your confidence.  It can signal that you’re nervous or lack self-control, so try speaking slower. It does take practice; so practice! Eventually, you will gain confidence and present yourself in a controlled manner.

Listen: Listen to the other person and take cues off them. Wait a second or two to before joining in. This can help you to frame your response and indicates to them that they have been listened to.

Stay silent: You don’t always have to say something, sometimes saying nothing is very powerful. Let others fill that gap and see where the conversation goes.

Keep breathing: Being short of breath can lead to dizziness, confusion and speaking too fast. Steady breathing will help your voice to sound solid. Practice deep breathing all the way to your abdomen, it will help to clear your mind too. It will also help with relaxation, practice relaxing your shoulders, where a lot of tension can be held, this will help relax other areas of the body too.

Watch your tone: along with breathing and relaxation comes tone. The more tense you are the more likely you are to speak from “higher up” and the more pleading you may sound. If you can relax and talk from your chest it adds authority to your tone and you sound more confident.

Be mindful: Stay focused on the present and don’t lose where you are. Take a second to reconnect with the now. Recalibrate your breathing and then continue.

That’s it, follow these 7 tips, practice and practice some more and before you know it you’ll join in conversations without thinking about.

Beat Blue Monday

It’s been blue Monday, when job sites experience 35% more job applications and 30% more visits.

Why not beat those blues by looking at your skills and setting out on a new track with the support from a qualified coach.

See where 2019 takes you!